How to Make Banana Boats:
7:00 p.m. Walk in the door. Turn the oven to 350F. Pull the frozen banana out of the freezer, stick it in the Vitamix (or other high-speed blender or food processor) and pureé it to a cream, almost like soft serve. Scoop into a container, set it in the freezer. Clean the Vitamix.
7:10 p.m. Take another banana off the counter, just one of the ones you usually grab for smoothies or snacks, and set it, still peeled, on top of a baking sheet, a rimmed one if you want. Slide the baking sheet into the oven, set the timer for 15 minutes, twiddle your thumbs, go sit on the sofa and look at Instagram, or stand in the kitchen like a creeper watching your neighbor from the window and wonder if he’s shaved his beard (is that your neighbor?).
7:25 p.m. When the oven dings, use mitted hands to pull baking sheet and its now-black banana out of oven. Holding the sheet with one mitted hand, use the other hand and a sharp knife to slice one straight cut down the middle vertically, top to bottom, creating an easy slit with which to open the banana and scoop your frozen banana ice cream on top.
7:30 p.m. Add some (optional) chopped nuts or cacao nibs or anything you like (I veer salty or savory here because, you know, you are about to eat two bananas, and bananas are sweeeeeet). Take one bite, and stop everything you are doing to pull out your camera and then your iPhone and then your computer because, woah!, bananas on bananas! This is completely killer! And standing in your front doorway, catching a photo in the day’s last light, you realize right now, this minute, the world needs to know.
8:00 p.m. Publish blog post. Start of cooking to published post = one hour = WORLD RECORD. Yessssss.