that contradiction (fig and gruyere grilled cheese)

grilled cheese with roast chicken and apples

I spent the last weekend (for the most part) off the Internet, and in that time, I went shopping, walked through a cute little downtown, spent time with friends, watched a movie, almost finished a book, cleaned the entire kitchen and the bathroom, took two naps, reorganized all my drawers, braised lentils, roasted skinny asparagus, bought one of those Trader Joe’s pears for like fifty cents because I can’t turn them down.

While I didn’t get offline to prove anything or because the Internet is inherently bad in any way but rather just to simplify my life a little, spend time focusing on the holiday we’d be celebrating, I have to say: Who knew it’d be so darn nice. When Monday morning came (and with it, the end of my self-imposed fast), nobody was more surprised than me to learn I had less of an appetite for social media and more of a desire for life without it. Now I’m wrestling with that strong contradiction of wanting to share while also wanting not to, of struggling with determining what is worth sharing versus what is worthless, of wanting to be more intentional about the things I do, and not just online.

grilled cheese and spring mix

But I guess contradictions are nothing new. I could just as easily tell you how weird it is that while I love today for its green grass and warm weather, I wish for tomorrow. Or while I want to get physical activity into each day, I let things prevent it. Or that sometimes I have a lot to say but don’t. Or want to try new recipes but fall into what’s familiar.

grilled cheese with butter

Like, grilled cheese. Grilled cheese, like apple pie or sandwich platters, is familiar, I know. There’s nothing super exciting or brilliant about having it for dinner. However, hear me out: there are so many (new to me! so look, I’m being creative!) ways to have it! And at least I’m trying them.

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